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Want Free, Customised Balls?

03 Jul 2009

These are the very same lawn bowls used in the Foreign Oscar-considered film, Crazy Monkey presents: Straight Outta Benoni.

They also happen to be available to anyone in Joburg.

As you can see, they’re sprayed-up like one of Tommy Lee’s muscle cars, so you’ll definitely be bowling with confidence. But unlike Tommy’s rides, these balls are STD-free.

bowls-sob

Whiter than Bill Gates.

If someone can give me a reason why they should have them, or can offer a clever distribution method, then let me know. Alternatively, tell me if there’s a charity for kids who need pimped-out lawn bowls, or a fetish group for people who crave asymmetric balls.

You might even find that this movie memorabilia can net you up to fifty bucks from Planet Hollywood. So send on the suggestions and tell your weird collector friends, I’d like to give them a good home.     (The bowls, not your friends.)

If no suggestions work, then I’ll be sending out GPS co-ordinates via Twitter at a later date, and you can hunt them down yourselves. Or you can just stay at home playing World of Warcraft with Cheese Curl-stained fingers. It’s your call, make the right decision.

UPDATE:

It looks like the bowls are being awarded to the Camps Bay Bowls Club (Cape Town), where they will receive pride of place in a trophy cabinet, probably near the pub area. Camps Bay, a fitting home for these prize-winning sportballs.

(And here they are featured on the Skull-a-Day website.)


Reader Comments

  • Dean

    03 07 09

    Reply

    How about I give you R50 bucks if you throw in the sweatband? The balls would be stored
    untouched as sweaty-crazy-monkey-fan movie memorabilia for the next 40 years until I emerge as Zoo lake’s feared grandpimp daddy o lawn bowls.

  • Paul

    03 07 09

    Reply

    Lets get together a flashmob, each with a m2 of astroturf and a tin, converge on a shopping center and have a game of bowls. Everyone stand around with collection tins for xyz charity. Donate proceeds (and balls) to xyz charity.

  • admin

    03 07 09

    Reply

    @Paul & Dean (solid first names) Thanks for the input, all suggestions will be computed. Right now I’m thinking Mad Max Thunderdome contest. But that idea will pass.

    Bad suggestions so far: ‘Fax them’ and, ‘send them via twitter’.

  • Martin

    27 07 09

    Reply

    Where did you get the bowls done,I can’t find anyone to customize mine for me?

  • admin

    27 07 09

    Reply

    They were done by an artist on the film shoot.

    Get a friend with some drawing skills to do it. Or hang out in a graffiti ‘hood and ask some pros to tag your balls.

    Good luck, and bowl hard.

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